CAMPFIRE TAROT AND THE PERFORMATIVE WITCH
I am packing up and heading to the woods next week with my partner and a couple of friends.
To set the scene accurately, we are not just going camping. We are going to a gay campground, and it happens to be bear weekend. I will be surrounded by very nice, very large, hairy men having a fantastic time. My actual goal is to disconnect from the internet, ignore my job completely, and just exist in the woods for a few days.
Naturally, my first instinct was to figure out how to make this profound and magical.
I immediately pictured myself sitting poolside, sunglasses on, with my tarot deck resting just visibly enough on the table next to my drink. I would act completely absorbed in a book, secretly hoping someone would walk up and ask for a reading, all while pretending I absolutely loathe the attention.
Doing this is the spiritual equivalent of bringing an acoustic guitar to a house party. It is a performance. You are not practicing magic; you are just starring in your own private remake of The Craft while everyone else is simply trying to enjoy their vacation.
The Reality of Camp Tarot
Being authentically magical does not require an audience.
I am definitely bringing the cards, and I actually do want to read for a few strangers. But throwing cards at a gay campground on a holiday weekend means dropping the esoteric, deep-soul-journey nonsense.
Nobody sitting by that pool wants to know about their spiritual blockages. They want to know their chances of hooking up with the guy in cabin four.
Put on your Agatha Harkness smirk and read the room. If you pull the Eight of Wands, tell them they are getting a late-night text. If you pull The Devil, tell them to make bad choices but wrap it up. Meet people where they are at. Magic does not have to be profound to be accurate.
A Chaos Magic Shot
I still want to set an actual magical intention for the trip, but I am not drawing a pentagram in the dirt. I am using chaos magic. The ritual does not matter. The belief and the result matter.
My partner and I are going to take a completely mundane action and weaponize it into a spell to officially sever our connection to the grid. We are taking a shot.
If you want to steal this for your next trip, the recipe is simple.
Pour two shots of whatever liquor actually burns a little going down. You want to physically feel the transition.
Add a dash of hot sauce or a spicy rim. This is your Wands energy. It is the fire required to burn the cord connecting you to your inbox.
Clink the glasses. State the absolute intent out loud: "I am unavailable. The grid is dead."
Take the shot.
The moment the glass hits the table, the spell is cast. You do not check your phone again. You do not talk about work. You go sit by the pool, talk to the bears, and if someone asks you for a reading, you give them the brutal, unvarnished truth.
